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17 March 2005
Tired and lethargic... Thats all I can describe for my last 3 days.
Firstly, I had my first arabic lesson.. and its a yeh!! Been wanting to learn since ages ago..
And next my work.. Arghh.. thinking of it, I felt so zombified.. I could neva imagined to accomplish task given by 3 of my collegues within a short period.. Worst, I had to do all their task... The more I'm working for them, the more I would feel as if I am a cheap labour... But syukur that it was a five days week for me.. A temporary worker from July 04 till now... Wad the toot....
I felt I worked too much.. Morning till night.. And the routine goes for the following days.. Body suffered the pain and struggle to be fit... Its time I need to take a rest.. But for those who knows me, I can't make my feet rest.. I will bring her to walk around.. Sigh!!!
Yesterday was watching Suria on anggun.. They featured on women's dowry, wedding planners and "bling bling" the 4Cs of Diamond: cut, colour, clarity and another Cs which I forgot.. Hee.. I was amazed and excited by that sitcom as Im still planning when should I get married.. I knew its early to think of all it.. After all, we are still young.. But in older days, age like me are sent off to get married.. was shocked when I heard the highest hantaran one of the interviewers told was $20 000.. Oh gosh, do the bride really wanted to sell off their daughters?? what was hantaran all about?? The Bride's educational level or her family background or worst, market rate?? To me, I believe mas kahwin is a must in a marriage and important rather than hantaran which was actually the culture and tradition of Malays.. But to think the bride's family really place the dowry as $20 000, and what if the groom side couldn't afford it?? Might as well, they cancelled it which do happens these days.. A moment later, my sis asked my mum how much her dad give the dowry to my mum.. And my mum answered that it was just few hundreds.. Could just see a huge difference between old days and now, the modern era.. If I were to get married, I just leave it to my mum to decide and to think of the guy side if they could really afford it..
To my dearest clans, my beloved family, I really do not know what to say.. I have tried my best to please everybody.. But is this the atittude I ought to get?? Maybe what ustazah said was right.. I should search my soul, finding my own faults rather than picking others' fault..
And B.. I want to tell the whole world, I have you, ONLY you!! I don't give a damn if others look down on me, they despise me, thinking I'm a flirt, I'm a money minded.. You make my day, you make me smile despite the distance we are in, the trunk calls we made, the surprises you gave.. the care, attention you gave me... You are someone that matters, and I will keep loving you. I'm sorry to let out here.. Only you know me the best!! Thanks B.. You're my missing piece...
Till then, take care!!
Wassalam~
She wrote @ 12:11 PM
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